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An Adoption Story

It was still dark outside when the alarm sounded, jarring Pam and I from a restless sleep. The day was finally here after ten years of waiting. We were going to be parents. 

This part of the story had started three months earlier when a woman who attended church with us in Amarillo, TX asked if we would adopt her son when he was born.  We said yes almost immediately.  We went to doctor’s appointments with her, met her other children and became friends along the way.

On the morning she was scheduled to deliver Abram, I remember Pam getting completely ready in about 20 minutes, which is lightning fast for my southern bride. We arrived at the hospital, put on our scrubs and were at the birth mom’s side during the c-section procedure. When the doctor brought Abram from the womb, he handed him to me first. His bald head and thick eye lashes are what I remember most.

Four days later, we had a ceremony in the hospital where the birth family said their goodbyes and handed Abram to us wrapped in a blue and white blanket.  Aside from our own salvation experiences, it was the single most spiritual moment in either of our lives. Adoption is the central theme of the Gospel and for those of us who get to experience the miracle of adopting a child, the message is even more poignant.

12 years have now passed, and our little boy is becoming a little man. He is brilliant, hilarious and loves Legos and all things Snoopy. He loves life more than any kid I know.  I am thankful that God chose us to be his parents and I am thankful for his birth mom who showed true courage and unbelievable obedience to God.

If God is leading you to give your life away to a child who needs a parent, check out www.Icareaboutorphans.org for info about Wait No More. Colorado is really close to being the first state to have a waiting list of parents wanting children instead of a long list of kids who wish they had a family of their own. I can’t wait to hear your stories.

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What is a Healthy Church?

We all want to belong to a healthy church and I certainly want to lead one, but what are the characteristics and traits that are synonymous with healthy churches? Is there any way to really measure something that seems so abstract? This is not an exhaustive list, but this should at least start some good conversations.

1. A healthy church is led well.

When the early apostles established churches, they looked for men and women with obvious character to lead the fellowships. They appointed elders who were mature, had good reputations in the community, were not greedy for money and managed their own families well. These leaders were accountable for their decisions and had proven themselves faithful.

2. A healthy church values relationships.

Healthy churches have a low tolerance for gossip or divisive behavior. They understand the power of unity and are ok with healthy debate so long as relationships are not splintered.  They purposely live in authentic community and look for every opportunity to meet the needs of one another. They see each other as family and are determined to live life together in the good times and bad.

3. A healthy church is outward focused.

Healthy churches are always looking to care for their community and are willing to use any available resource to meet the needs around them. Healthy churches are a blessing to the community in which they live as citizens. They are a generous people who give sacrificially at every opportunity.

New Life is not perfect, but we are determined to be healthy. It is not easy just like a healthy lifestyle is not easy. We must wake up everyday determined to do the right thing for the right reason, even if it hurts. Healthy churches change the world and I am grateful to belong to a church that is doing just that.

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Ten Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me 15 Years Ago

I have been a pastor for about 15 years now and it has mostly been a fantastic journey with some of the best people on the planet. I did not attend seminary or have much formal training when I started out, but I sure wish someone had told me these ten things in the beginning.

1. Sheep bites can’t kill me, but the gnawing will make life miserable a few days each year.

2. No matter how hard I try, I will always be tempted to measure my success by attendance numbers.

3. The best thing I can do to build and grow God’s kingdom is to be myself and not compare myself to others.

4. It takes a long time to become old friends so nurture and cherish the old friendships God has given me.

5. I will only have as much spiritual authority as I am willing to submit to myself. Independence will destroy me but there is power in submission.

6. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. Challenge people to go deeper even when the message is unpopular.

7. My brain will always feel like scrambled eggs on Sunday afternoon so don’t make any major decisions until Tuesday morning.

8. Some people will only trust you after a really long time of proving yourself and another group will never trust you no matter what you do.

9. Don’t feel guilty about taking a Sabbath. It was not a suggestion.

10. I will never regret spending time with my family instead of saying yes to a church meeting that someone else could lead.

I hope this is helpful to other young leaders who are launching out into ministry. What are some of things you wish someone had told you before you started ministry in the local church?

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Dream Centers Update

We may have found our first building for the Dream Centers we wish to open. It is a small first step, but I am super excited to get started.

The building is a two-story office complex in the geographic center of our city. I will give you an address once the elders and I finalize the lease. The building is being given to us rent free!

We believe we can open a free medical clinic on the first floor and begin marriage and family ministry for military couples on the second floor. Of course, both will be led by a coalition of volunteers.

We are still looking at other properties around the city that would allow us to meet the unmet and underserved needs in our community. We are also in the early stages of getting a separate 501(c)3 for the Dream Centers and talking to potential board members from the business, military and church worlds.

Thanks for praying with me. God is at work and I am grateful to be a part of what He is doing. Greater things are yet to come in our city.

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Marinating vs. Microwaving

Jesus was brilliant. I know I sound like Captain Obvious, but Jesus knew how to build something that would last for millenniums. He invested three years in 12 men and then left them right when the church was about to be birthed. The 11 that remained as followers plus a small group of committed women then changed the world.

Why is this idea so hard for modern church leaders to grasp? Why do we continue to use Western marketing principles that ultimately fail instead of using the simple methods of Jesus, which are rock solid?

I am building a ministry to men at New Life and I have decided to spend the next three years building a group of leaders emphasizing relationships and not events or classes. We will have some events and some classes, but we will focus most of our effort on living our lives in authentic community. We are going to go deep before we grow wide.

Most people looking from the outside may think we are not that successful because I cannot point to big attendance numbers as proof. Please pray for me that I will not give in to the temptation to simply get a big crowd to come to an event. My goal at the end of the three years is to have around 200 men from every generation who will help me pastor the 5000 or so men who call New Life home. My goal is not to get the 5000 to show up at some meeting.

Crowds do not multiply, but disciples do. The challenge will be to marinate and not succumb to the microwave mentality that plagues the American church world. We want instant “success” like we want instant rice. We want to be on Top 100 lists even though Jesus would have never made it himself.

Only 120 were in the Upper Room and they were tired, scared and immature. Then they changed the culture of the evil Greco-Roman world in which they lived. They had depth because they had been built from the inside out. The crowds ultimately abandoned Jesus, but those who were in relationship with him stood firm.

I am returning to the ancient because it is the hope for the postmodern world in which I pastor and lead. Come marinate in deep relationships with me. Let’s go deep before we grow wide. Let’s change the world one friendship at a time.

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The Top Ten Worship Tunes in My World

I love songs that help lead me into worship and I have a list of 10 favorites that are special to me right now.

1. Overcome – written by Jon Egan of New Life Church. It’s the song that’s the anthem of New Life Church and will forever be one of my favorites because of what happened when we sang it on the Wednesday night after the shooting on our campus. Favorite line – “Everyone, Overcome”

2. You Hold it All – New Life Worship, written by Jon Egan – Favorite line “I will not fear!”

3. How He Loves – written by John Mark McMillan, but best sung by Jared Anderson. This song still wrecks me when I sing it. Favorite line – “I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way that you love us.”

4. Revelation Song – best when sung by Kari Jobe, although she did not write it as most people believe. Jennie Riddle wrote it. Favorite line – “Filled with wonder, awestruck wonder, at the mention of your name.”

5. The Great I Am – a brand new song written by Jared Anderson, not published yet, but it will be soon. This song is sung to God about God, which I believe is the purest type of worship tunes.

6. This I Know – a brand new song written by Jon Egan and Daniel Grothe, not published yet, but it will be soon. Ditto from my explanation of #5.

7. The Stand – From Hillsong United. Favorite line – “I’ll stand, my arms high and heart abandoned, in awe of the One who gave it all.”

8. Tears of the Saints – a killer song from the band, Leeland, that talks about the church helping the poor. The first time I heard this tune, I had to stop walking around my neighborhood because of the tears.

9. From the Inside Out – From Hillsong United. My favorite line –  “Your glory goes beyond all fame.”

10. In Christ Alone – no song so clearly communicates the entire Gospel message as this one. Written by Keith Getty and Stuart Townsend, but best sung by Brad Parsley. Favorite line – “No guilt in life, no fear in death, this is the power of Christ in me.”

What are the songs that God is using to draw you closer right now?

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Every Sunday Needs a Wednesday…

Recently, I was asked to be a part of a really cool leadership event called “The Nines”. It was broadcast over the web to about 25,000 leaders. They asked me to tell about a game changing moment in my ministry life and how it affected me. I had only six minutes to talk. Watch the video by clicking below to hear what I said and give me your thoughts.

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Dream Centers Update

We are really close to experiencing a huge miracle for the Dream Centers. There are several possibilities looming for us to get really large buildings donated that would allow us to pastor our city for decades. Remember, we are praying for buildings bigger than we think we need, ones that are better than we deserve and we are praying for them to be donated.  The aforementioned buildings meet all three requests.

Right now, we are meeting with the owners behind the scenes, asking a lot of questions and trying to do due diligence. One of the big issues is actually operating such a large building once it is given to us. It will require thousands of dollars and hundreds of volunteers to even get rolling, but I am full of faith that God is directing our steps.

I am also meeting with leaders and pastors in the city who can serve with me on the board of the Dream Centers. As I have said before, the Dream Centers will not be owned by New Life, but will be operated under a separate 501(c) 3. I want to partner with other churches, business leaders and military leaders because the needs in our region are simply too big for us to tackle them alone.

Keep praying with me and be patient in this process. I know it seems like we have been waiting a long time, but believe me, once we open the Dream Centers, it will be all hands on deck to pastor our city. It is about to happen and God will get all the glory. Selah

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Live from New Life

The Sunday morning gatherings at New Life will be broadcast live on our website starting September 12th. This means people can join us live around the world and experience worship with us via some really cool and really inexpensive technology. There are lots of positives and some negatives about live-streaming that we have discussed as a team.

CONS:

  • Watching on the web is not an equal substitute for attending live. Face to face, person-to-person interaction at church is super important and cannot be dismissed in favor of watching from home.
  • The technology is great, but it is really expensive to make the sound quality on the web equal to the live gathering. Lower your expectations in that regard.

PROS:

  • Live streaming is a great opportunity for people who are looking for a new church to preview our service before actually attending.
  • It is a great resource for our missionaries and military members stationed around the world to stay connected to their local church.
  • On heavy snow Sundays, the three of us who make it to church can sing and speak while the rest of you watch. I promise I will not sing unless absolutely necessary.

What do you think about the services being live-streamed? How can we take maximum advantage of this great technology?

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Twitter Wisdom

Twitter and Facebook provide huge opportunities to have conversations, to share ideas, to promote products and events, and to share the random thoughts of everyday life. Pam and I are realizing more and more, though, that we have to be super careful about our posts because they can be misinterpreted and misquoted.

Not long ago, I posted a comment about the number of tattoos on the Denver Nugget players. It was just a little late night sarcasm, but it prompted a lot of angry responses from people who also have tattoos. I regretted sounding judgmental because that is not who I am.  Last fall, after the Cowboys lost an early season game, I made a derogatory remark about Head Coach Wade Phillips and a wise man in our church kindly corrected me.  Since those two posts, I have tried to use a bit more wisdom and discretion in what I put online for all to read.

Since Twitter allows for only 140 characters, we often cannot fully explain what we are thinking, thereby leaving a lot of room for misinterpretation. Here are some rules I try to follow.

1. Don’t post about things that happen in the bathroom. Enough said.

2. Don’t post when you are angry or hungry, especially when you are both.

3. Don’t post stuff that points out physical or mental deficiencies in others.

4. Don’t post stuff about movies or songs that contain material that others may find offensive.

5. Don’t overhype an event. Promotion is fine, but hype is not classy.

I cannot tell you how often I have had to delete something I was about to post because it broke one of these rules. I have never regretted a deletion, but I have regretted a number of posts. I love social media and have made a lot of connections with people that I would have never met otherwise.  Like any good thing, it can become a snare if we are not wise with its use.  What are some of the rules you follow with social media? What are some of the mistakes you have made that the rest of us could learn from?

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