Pam Boyd's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘insecurity’

For too many years for me to remember, I struggled with comparing myself with others, which produced a mess of insecurity.  I always wanted something other than what the Lord had blessed me with. I thought I was short-changed! Growing up, I was never really into designer clothes or fancy jewelry because heaven forbid that I EVER lose one of those expensive items. What I physically wanted was the long, silky hair or the deep, golden skin. What I longed for most was an outgoing personality and quick wit. My fear was that I was going to say something stupid and I would be humiliated; therefore, I chose to not talk much which led to me being labeled ‘shy’. I hated that word with everything in me! I did NOT embrace my ‘introvertness’ at all.

As I grew older, I chose to accept the challenges of my youth and my personality began to blossom. I give much of that credit to performing on my high school’s dance line for 4 yrs. You cannot be reserved when dancing in front of a gym full of people or in the middle of a football field with packed bleachers. 🙂 I also give a lot of credit to my comedic husband who has an unintentional way of drawing that funny side out of me.We tend to ‘feed off’ each other’s comments and have our own little comedy act sometimes.

Through the years as I became more and more confident through studying His word and what He says about me and embracing how He created me; I realized that my early comparisons were simply trivial. If we wake up every morning with that outlook, all of those comparisons seem insignificant. One of my favorite scriptures is

1 Peter 3:3-4

I want to be of great worth in His sight, don’t you! Embracing our image created by the Almighty is one of the most powerful stories that we can share to ‘help’ others do the same. Note that I said ‘help’. We live in a world now where the “me” generation seems to be taking all of us hostage! They are not ‘helping’ anyone, in my opinion. It’s rather heartbreaking to see on social media so many children AND adults craving so much attention from not only friends, but complete strangers! Everything does not need to be shared! If we create our own image to please ourselves and others, then we fail. We tell God, “Your image is not good enough. I can do better”, and we completely become this facade, a fake. I was well on my way to becoming this until one day when I looked in the mirror and saw myself not through my eyes, but through His eyes. As I said earlier, it took many years, much prayer, and diving into His word for me to get to that place…I could not do it on my own. My flesh is so weak, but my Spirit is so willing. 

Matthew 26:41

41 “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

The temptation of comparison is real. It’s deceiving. Our enemy knows it and he thrives on destroying us with it; however, we are overcomers by the power of the Holy Spirit within us. We do not have to open the door to this stronghold.  God is within us!

As soon as I became comfortable with how God created me, my confidence soared not only in myself but in my God. My faith grew tremendously, my love for Him is like none other and my fear of God is healthy and respectful.

“Be your true self, everyone else is already taken.” 🙂