Pam Boyd's Blog

Posts Tagged ‘children’

I do not believe there is a loving parent out there who does not want their children to have good things in life.  As much as we want that for them, lavishing them with too many of those good things can be compared to letting them gorge on sweets…damaging their health, hindering their appetite for wholesome things, and leading to a hunger for risky, harmful ones.

As loving parents, we must set healthy limits in all areas of our children’s lives by creating appropriate stages and boundaries. 

For example:

·      Put age limits on behaviors that rush our children out of childhood, like

1.             wearing makeup

2.             having a cell phone

3.             having a Facebook page

4.             playing certain video games

5.             watching certain TV programs or movies

6.             dating

7.             getting a job

I do not know what those ages are for your children, but my husband and I have an idea what those ages are for our children.  You know your children best and as you train them up, you know what they can handle or not handle at that particular stage in their life; however, we simply cannot push them into those stages too early in their life. When we delay these activities until an appropriate age, we get to ‘celebrate’ them as rites of passage toward a healthy adulthood.

We give our children something to look forward to when we are intentional about setting up these stages and boundaries. We teach them that it’s OK to wait for something. The world is shouting at them, “You can have it all now. You don’t need to wait! Go for it!” As parents though, we know that instant gratification often leads to long-term problems like massive debt, destroyed relationships and wounded emotions.

Our children are a blessing from God. Let’s give them our time; lots of time, and let’s steward that time into helping them make good, long-term, healthy choices now. Maturity is a process and is not something that happens automatically when they turn 18.

* Some excerpts taken from Focus on the Family website.

We are born into this world thinking the whole world revolves around us and all the other people are just paying rent to live in our world. Many of us have parents that told us we were the best, the cutest, the smartest, and the greatest at anything we did. Why would we want to believe anything else! In fact, we, ourselves as parents, have told the exact same things to our beloved children. From the moment they become a part of our family until forever, we want our children to think the best of themselves. If taught correctly and in healthy exhortation, with the grace of God, our children will attain a healthy confidence.

I believe we, as parents, are to be their role models. If we live our lives before them not as cocky , selfish, pompous elitists , but as broken and humble servants looking for opportunities to help others; then, most likely, they will do the same as they grow into their confidence through the years. It must start in the home though. Afterall, God gave us these precious children to love, nourish, and disciple. Let’s encourage them to embrace who God created them to be.

Healthy confidence is a realization and an assurance that God loves us, that He has given us talents and gifts, that He wants us to use those gifts for Him, and that He has given us salvation and eternal life in heaven. This gives us complete certainty that our life can have meaning, now and forever.

Unhealthy pride results when arrogance and cockiness are substituted for healthy confidence. Thinking we can make it without God and failing to seek His help are the warning signs that confidence has turned into pride. Self-promotion will get us nowhere but into a deep, dark hole of depression with no friends to enjoy the success we made for ourselves. If we promote ourselves, then we are the ones responsible for the outcome. I can probably bet that that would not be a life we would want to live with all the stress and burden of having to live up to that. If we let God promote us, then He is the one responsible for the outcome. He’s got my vote! Just think how peaceful we all would be if we just let go and let God.