Category: Leadership (page 7 of 8)

Guidelines for the Guest Speaker

This weekend, we had Pastor Robert Morris as a guest speaker at New Life. Pastor Robert is the Senior Pastor at Gateway Church in DFW and is one of the overseers of New Life, plus one of my closest friends. Pastor Robert spoke at both Sunday morning gatherings and did a great job. Meanwhile, I was at Gateway as his guest, speaking twice on Saturday and once Sunday.

I don’t just let anyone speak at New Life when I’m gone. Most often, the speaker is a part of our pastoral team, but like this past Sunday, we do sometimes have guests from around the country who come to speak. Before they are invited, I make sure they meet certain criteria.

1. They must really care about the people of New Life and genuinely want to pastor them while in the pulpit.

2. They must have some relationship with me or have a substantial relationship with someone I really trust.

3. They must have similar theology, but not necessarily identical theology.  I think it’s great to have speakers who come from different backgrounds so long as they are not out of bounds on the essentials of our faith.

4. They have to be there to minister to the people and not sell something to the people. I am ok with books and products being available for purchase but the guest speaker will not be allowed to make a big sales pitch.

5. They are  typically pastors who are leading their own fellowships because true shepherds usually have a high regard for the local church. I do have people speak who are not pastors, but not often.

I am grateful to have so many gifted speakers and pastors available to communicate the scriptures when I’m gone. I want New Lifers to trust that no matter who speaks on Sunday, truth will be declared and people will receive pastoral care.

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Defender or Defensive?

Nobody likes to be criticized and all of us want people to like us to some degree. When criticism or unfair comments are made about us, we naturally want to respond, to defend our reputations, to set the record straight. That sounds like the right thing to do, but that’s not what Jesus did. He did not retaliate when he was insulted, instead he trusted his case was in the hands of God who always judges fairly.

In the past three years, there have been blogs and news reports about me that were completely inaccurate and it was difficult to read and listen to them without defending myself. One morning on a phone call, my friend, Pastor Jimmy Evans, gave me some great advice. He told me there was a difference between being a defender and being defensive.

He told me if my only goal was to defend my reputation, I should stay silent but if I needed to defend the people of New Life from harm, then I should speak. It was wise advice and I am thankful I decided to not defend myself. Secure people have faith that God is one the one who brings justice to all situations, either in this age or in the age to come.

Secure people are a people of peace and are quick to forgive those who have hurt them. Secure people prefer mercy because they have not forgotten how much mercy they need everyday.

If we are going to walk away from a life of insecurity, we have to trust, like Jesus, that we have a perfect shepherd watching over us and we are the sheep of his pasture. How do you respond to unfair attacks? Can you trust God for justice?

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Be Wisely Authentic

I think it is great when pastors are candid about their own struggles. Authenticity builds trust and allows for others in the fellowship to speak honestly about their own issues. Church masks are removed and people are able to get the help they need.

But there are times when the pastor can share way too much information and cause people to actually stumble. This past Sunday, I shared a really vulnerable story about my personal struggle with depression last year. I hope it was helpful, but I was mindful of a couple of questions we should all consider before we share personal issues.

1. Has the issue been resolved? I am not sure pastors should confess their struggles publicly until they have at least started the process of getting some help privately. The Sunday morning stage should not the be the first time we confess our weaknesses. We need to have a trusted circle of mature friends who can hear this first and then we can talk about it publicly when it is appropriate. Don’t be vulnerable just to be cool. I know many young believers who have given up even trying to live Godly lives because they believe there is no use trying if their leaders cannot be victorious. Confess, but then tell them the path you found toward healing and wholeness. That is encouraging and will actually build hope in people.

2. Am I about to share something that will embarrass someone? In the first talk on Sunday when I was telling my story of near depression, I made it seem that Pam and I were struggling in our marriage, although the struggle was not with her, but with my role as Senior Pastor. I made that clearer in the 11am service, but it reminded me to be very careful not to reveal something about someone just to tell a cool story about my messiness. Protect people and their reputations at all costs, even at the cost of a good sermon illustration.

I hope every leader feels the freedom to be transparent, honest and vulnerable. It’s refreshing and healing to those who hear and it helps all of us take off those silly church masks and live honest lives filled with hope and freedom.

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Ten Things I Wish Someone Had Told Me 15 Years Ago

I have been a pastor for about 15 years now and it has mostly been a fantastic journey with some of the best people on the planet. I did not attend seminary or have much formal training when I started out, but I sure wish someone had told me these ten things in the beginning.

1. Sheep bites can’t kill me, but the gnawing will make life miserable a few days each year.

2. No matter how hard I try, I will always be tempted to measure my success by attendance numbers.

3. The best thing I can do to build and grow God’s kingdom is to be myself and not compare myself to others.

4. It takes a long time to become old friends so nurture and cherish the old friendships God has given me.

5. I will only have as much spiritual authority as I am willing to submit to myself. Independence will destroy me but there is power in submission.

6. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it. Challenge people to go deeper even when the message is unpopular.

7. My brain will always feel like scrambled eggs on Sunday afternoon so don’t make any major decisions until Tuesday morning.

8. Some people will only trust you after a really long time of proving yourself and another group will never trust you no matter what you do.

9. Don’t feel guilty about taking a Sabbath. It was not a suggestion.

10. I will never regret spending time with my family instead of saying yes to a church meeting that someone else could lead.

I hope this is helpful to other young leaders who are launching out into ministry. What are some of things you wish someone had told you before you started ministry in the local church?

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Marinating vs. Microwaving

Jesus was brilliant. I know I sound like Captain Obvious, but Jesus knew how to build something that would last for millenniums. He invested three years in 12 men and then left them right when the church was about to be birthed. The 11 that remained as followers plus a small group of committed women then changed the world.

Why is this idea so hard for modern church leaders to grasp? Why do we continue to use Western marketing principles that ultimately fail instead of using the simple methods of Jesus, which are rock solid?

I am building a ministry to men at New Life and I have decided to spend the next three years building a group of leaders emphasizing relationships and not events or classes. We will have some events and some classes, but we will focus most of our effort on living our lives in authentic community. We are going to go deep before we grow wide.

Most people looking from the outside may think we are not that successful because I cannot point to big attendance numbers as proof. Please pray for me that I will not give in to the temptation to simply get a big crowd to come to an event. My goal at the end of the three years is to have around 200 men from every generation who will help me pastor the 5000 or so men who call New Life home. My goal is not to get the 5000 to show up at some meeting.

Crowds do not multiply, but disciples do. The challenge will be to marinate and not succumb to the microwave mentality that plagues the American church world. We want instant “success” like we want instant rice. We want to be on Top 100 lists even though Jesus would have never made it himself.

Only 120 were in the Upper Room and they were tired, scared and immature. Then they changed the culture of the evil Greco-Roman world in which they lived. They had depth because they had been built from the inside out. The crowds ultimately abandoned Jesus, but those who were in relationship with him stood firm.

I am returning to the ancient because it is the hope for the postmodern world in which I pastor and lead. Come marinate in deep relationships with me. Let’s go deep before we grow wide. Let’s change the world one friendship at a time.

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Every Sunday Needs a Wednesday…

Recently, I was asked to be a part of a really cool leadership event called “The Nines”. It was broadcast over the web to about 25,000 leaders. They asked me to tell about a game changing moment in my ministry life and how it affected me. I had only six minutes to talk. Watch the video by clicking below to hear what I said and give me your thoughts.

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Twitter Wisdom

Twitter and Facebook provide huge opportunities to have conversations, to share ideas, to promote products and events, and to share the random thoughts of everyday life. Pam and I are realizing more and more, though, that we have to be super careful about our posts because they can be misinterpreted and misquoted.

Not long ago, I posted a comment about the number of tattoos on the Denver Nugget players. It was just a little late night sarcasm, but it prompted a lot of angry responses from people who also have tattoos. I regretted sounding judgmental because that is not who I am.  Last fall, after the Cowboys lost an early season game, I made a derogatory remark about Head Coach Wade Phillips and a wise man in our church kindly corrected me.  Since those two posts, I have tried to use a bit more wisdom and discretion in what I put online for all to read.

Since Twitter allows for only 140 characters, we often cannot fully explain what we are thinking, thereby leaving a lot of room for misinterpretation. Here are some rules I try to follow.

1. Don’t post about things that happen in the bathroom. Enough said.

2. Don’t post when you are angry or hungry, especially when you are both.

3. Don’t post stuff that points out physical or mental deficiencies in others.

4. Don’t post stuff about movies or songs that contain material that others may find offensive.

5. Don’t overhype an event. Promotion is fine, but hype is not classy.

I cannot tell you how often I have had to delete something I was about to post because it broke one of these rules. I have never regretted a deletion, but I have regretted a number of posts. I love social media and have made a lot of connections with people that I would have never met otherwise.  Like any good thing, it can become a snare if we are not wise with its use.  What are some of the rules you follow with social media? What are some of the mistakes you have made that the rest of us could learn from?

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How is Everyone Doing?

It’s amazing how little I know about what is happening at New Life and I am supposed to be the leader. I think this is true about a lot of leaders, not just me. It is easy to encase ourselves in our office and forget to look below the water line of the ship. So, from time to time, I ask a few people on the staff how everyone is doing. I’m not asking for them to relay the latest gossip, but I do want to know what I don’t know.

This week, I asked someone about the morale of the staff. This trusted person told me there was a concern we were going to lay off some people because another local ministry just laid off some of their staff. I would have never known this if I had not asked.  We are not considering lay-offs, instead we are preparing for a season of growth and increased ministry. I’m sure this rumor would have died a slow death on its own, but I got the chance to kill it quickly because I asked the right question.

I am not a proponent of chasing down rumor fires and putting them out. That would exhaust me and keep me from my primary purpose. I realize there will always be a handful of misguided opinions on a staff our size. What I do suggest is that from time to time, we peer below the water line to make sure we have not run aground on something that could have been avoided by a more attentive captain.

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Are you a workaholic?

Workaholics have damaged and destroyed more families than alcoholics, especially among leaders in the local church.  I meet pastors all the time who work incessantly at building God’s house while ignoring their own. All the while they justify their long hours with phrases like “this is just a season and will not always be like this” or “God has given me a big assignment”.  Meanwhile, back home, their spouses and children get what is left over at the end of the day.

How do you know if you have become addicted to work and performance? What are the signs that you may be out of balance? Here’s a few to consider.

•1. You have not taken a full day off from ministry in more than a month.  When was the last time you turned off your phone and refused to check work emails for an entire 24-hour cycle?

•2. You have not taken more than five days of vacation in a long time. Five days is what it takes for me to detox from the demands of ministry. I cannot even rest and regenerate until the sixth day. If all you have taken are a few days here and there, your physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual tanks will eventually run dry.

•3. You feel guilty for not attending every event at the church.  When was the last time something significant happened at your church and you stayed home instead of attending? I know this will be shocking news to you, but your team is capable of doing stuff well without you looking over their shoulders.

•4. You have a high turnover on your team. Workaholics demand the same performance from those around them as they do of themselves. Typically, workaholics hang around each other, like alcoholics, and enable each other to continue their destructive behaviors. All those who cannot keep up with the frenetic pace are quickly discarded.

•5. You are constantly frustrated that you are not growing fast enough. Workaholics are obsessed with numerical measurements of growth. Even when attendance is growing, it is never fast enough for workaholics. Their identity is wrapped up in performance and results, instead of the internal spiritual maturity that is most important to God.

I was once a workaholic and it almost cost me everything. I am guilty of all five symptoms listed above, but I have been restored to a balanced life that allows me to work hard at the church I love while not sacrificing my family on the altar of ministry.  Be diligent at your job, using your time wisely, but remember to rest well, stop feeling guilty for the occasional nap, and spend time alone with God. Talk to Him about stuff in your heart instead of what is happening at the church building. It works, believe me.

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Praying for Big Stuff Again

“Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine …” – Ephesians 3:20

I have a pretty big imagination and I have some friends who are crazy creative, but I wonder if any of us are asking for the big stuff like we did when we were younger and less cynical. This passage in Ephesians says God is able to do a lot more than we can ask or even dream up on a sunny day.

What happened to our fierce faith and bold determination? Have we surrendered our idealism and settled for pragmatism? I believe in common sense living and making decisions based upon facts, but the Kingdom of Heaven requires us to live by faith, which means we have to take risks and rely on things that are not seen. It actually pleases God for us to live like this.

Life tends to drain us of this tenacious faith. The economy tanks and we run for the foxholes to wait it out. The pressures of paying a mortgage cause us to think in 30-day cycles instead of looking further toward the horizon and imagining all the possibilities that may exist. We ditch our five-year vision plans and strategically survive instead.

Recently, God has challenged me to pray for some big stuff. I am asking Him for a donated Dream Center building that is bigger than we think is needed and better than we deserve so we can pastor our city. We don’t have the money or the staff to even operate a Dream Center, but we do have the vision and the courage to ask for a miracle.

What big prayers should you be praying right now? Have you settled for foxhole living or have you started dreaming big again? My prayer is that all of us will regain our fierce faith and live with bold determination because God is able to do immeasurably more than we are asking or imagining.

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