Category: Leadership (page 5 of 8)

Every Church Needs a Dad

October 31, 2011 / / 2 Comments /

This past weekend, Pastor Jimmy Evans from Trinity Fellowship Church in Amarillo, Tx., spoke at New Life while I was at his church speaking for him. Pastor Jimmy is more than a guest, he is an Overseer for our fellowship. Overseers are men who serve the church at the request of the elders and help us with wise counsel and guidance when needed, which in our case, is often.

Pastor Jimmy has been my friend for over 15 years and has taught me more about healthy church leadership than any other person. Pam and I were members of Trinity Fellowship in the 1990’s and it was Pastor Jimmy who helped restore our love for the local church. When he comes to New Life, it seems like dad has arrived for a visit to his grown son’s house.

Every church needs a dad like Pastor Jimmy and every pastor needs a friend they can call and ask “dad” questions. Most pastors have peers who come hang out or speak from time to time and some have younger men they are mentoring, but most leaders are void of the voice of a dad in their lives.

I suppose the church is a mere reflection of our culture, where dads are primarily distant, disconnected or nowhere to be found. The early Christ followers certainly realized the strength of the apostles and elders who led them and would have never considered a church to be healthy if spiritual dads were not around.

When dad is present in the family, sons tend to thrive in the safety of a relationship that is there to encourage and challenge them. Dads have the gift to remind us of our calling, our heritage and to confirm the potential we think see inside ourselves.

New Life is blessed to have Jimmy Evans, Tom Lane, Jack Hayford, Robert Morris and Larry Stockstill as Overseers. We are thankful they said yes to being dads for our church. We need their voices and their visits more than ever.

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Fake Trophies

October 24, 2011 / / 6 Comments /

My two kids have dozens of medals and trophies and they have never won a championship of any kind. They have played soccer, basketball, volleyball, baseball and Taekwondo and have rarely ever played a game or competed in a match where the score was kept and a winner and a loser determined at the end.

By the time I was 13, I knew firsthand the thrill of victory and the agony of defeat. I remember missing a jump shot in a 1st grade basketball game that would have won my team the game. That moment of failure did not scar me, instead it made me shoot hundreds of jump shots on a basketball rim that was nailed to a pine tree in my back yard. I wanted to get better, so the next time I was in the position to win or lose, I would hit the shot.

I understand the dark underbelly of competition and the ugliness it can unleash in parents and coaches. But I am afraid we are raising a generation of kids who are convinced by enormous evidence that winning and losing doesn’t matter, when in fact, it does. I believe our kids have very little motivation to get better, to practice, to overcome because everyone gets the same trophy – a fake trophy.

Meanwhile, we are left scratching our heads when the 20-somethings are still living in our basements with no plan to ever leave or achieve. I believe one of the big reasons our young men drift aimlessly through a decade of apathy is because they have not learned how to compete, the value of being challenged, and the lessons learned only through abject failure. The worst thing we can do for our children is to always make life easy for them.

Between 1940 and 1970, we sent people to space, invented computers, created suburbia and revolutionized automobile technology. The people of this age were a generation that had survived a world war, been challenged in combat, and had grandparents that had survived the Great Depression. Competition was a celebrated part of the culture. Heroes were honored and grace was given to the defeated. Losers learned tough lessons and winners had to practice harder to stay on top. It was an age of hard work, innovation, and persistence in the face of great challenges.

We can still recapture some of these values and we can start by not handing out any more fake trophies. We cannot allow our kids to quit a sport, a subject, or even a relationship just because it is too hard and they may fail. A handful of trophies earned is much better than the many given for just showing up.

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NFL Coaches, Disrespect, and the Men of our Church

October 17, 2011 / / 4 Comments /

Two NFL coaches who could not amicably shake hands after a close game made headlines recently.  Jim Harbaugh is the coach of the San Francisco 49ers and Jim Schwartz is the coach of the Detroit Lions and their two teams played each other in a close game that finished in pretty dramatic fashion, ending the Lion’s perfect season. Harbaugh is seen on camera right after the game ended, shouting and jumping, celebrating a win for his team.

Moments later, the two head coaches met in the middle of the field to shake hands, but Harbaugh, caught up in the exuberant moment, shook Schwartz’s hand really hard and patted him on the back with the force of a mule kick. The Detroit coach took exception and the two got into a heated argument before being separated.

As I watched, I thought about Emerson Eggerich and his book, Love and Respect. I usually don’t think of marriage books during NFL games, but I was tired and had eaten a spicy chicken sandwich for lunch. In his book, my friend talks about the greatest need for men is respect and the greatest need for women is love. When Harbaugh broke post-game protocol with the rough handshake and shove, it was a sign of disrespect, whether that was his intention or not.

Disrespect is many times dangerous and often lethal. There are many men in prison today who committed awful crimes simply because someone did something that dishonored them or made them look bad in front of others. Disrespect is the gateway to some of the worst possible emotions locked up in a man.

I am writing this as a reminder to myself to make sure I honor and respect the men God has called me to pastor. What can I do to show more respect to our men and thereby earn the right to help shape them into better Christ followers?

1. Ask for their advice. Nothing shows more respect than asking someone for their opinion on important matters.

2. Listen to what they say. Asking for their advice is no good if we never actually use it. Men can smell patronization quicker than their own dirty socks.

3. Empower them to lead. Men want to know that pastors trust them with serious spiritual leadership and not just see them as a walking checkbook or potential volunteer.

4. Go to their world. Show up at their business to visit and talk as much as you want them to show up at the church buildings. Hang out and ask questions about what’s important to them.

5. Talk to them every Sunday and not just on Father’s Day. Use sermon language that is engaging to them and relevant to their world. Let them know you see them and believe in what God is doing in them.

Men are hungry for God and for the most part, want to grow as Christ followers. They just need a little honor to move them off the starting line. It’s not more complicated than that and I mean that with all due respect.

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Random Monday Thoughts on Preaching Styles

October 3, 2011 / / 11 Comments /

Pastors tend to spend a lot of time obsessing about preaching and teaching, while the rest of society thinks about it, like never. But, it’s Monday and I spoke at New Life yesterday and still wonder if I’m any good, (this is the part that is supposed to motivate you to give me a lot of compliments), but Pam and the kids thought it was great and that’s most important.

Anyway, about a year ago, I underwent a philosophical shift in the way I preach each week. For years, I was a part of a world that primarily taught sermon series on various topics for 4-6 weeks, each series complete with a cool logo, title and sermon bumper (that is the trendy video that plays right before the pastor magically appears on stage).

Strengths of the sermon series approach to preaching:

1. You can tackle topics that are important to the congregation in a timely way. For example, if marriages seem to be struggling, you can talk about marriage, etc.

2. You can go deeper on topics that need extra time to teach, like eschatology (that’s a fancy preacher word that means the end times).

Weaknesses:

1. You can skip over the hard topics and just talk about the happy ones. In other words, we can talk about the blessings without talking about suffering or sacrifice.

2. You can drain the life out of your creative team trying to be better or more clever than the last series. Cool one word titles can slide down the cheese hill really quick. Our title for the teachings from Luke is … Luke.

My approach for the past year is to walk through books of the Bible story by story, capturing all the big ideas of the book. I have preached through Ephesians, 1 Peter, and for the past 30 weeks, through Luke. I plan to tackle Acts for the first part of 2012.

Strengths of the book approach:

1. You cannot skip over the hard topics. The past two weeks I have taught out of Luke 16, which focuses on two difficult topics for most pastors — hell and money.

2. Hermeneutics (another fancy word for studying the Bible) is embraced more completely.  Who wrote the passage? Who was he talking to? Why did he use specific language? What was going on in the culture at the time?

3. You have to teach on all the topics and ideas that Jesus and the apostle’s taught their churches and followers. It builds a more complete disciple in the long run (just my opinion, but it is my blog).

Weaknesses:

1. Missed opportunities to preach about topics that are trending socially. For example, on the 10-year anniversary of 9/11, we were in Luke 14, which did not contain a ready made memorial message.

2. Missed opportunities to camp out for several weeks on topics that need deeper explanation.

For the record, I think both approaches have merit for the local church and it’s the job of the pastor to listen to what God is saying and obey. Don’t get stuck in a sermon rut. It is possible, and even probable, that some fresh new ideas may be exactly what all of us need.

Monday ramblings are now over. I need to sign off because Sundays come around with alarming regularity and I need to start fretting over the next sermon (leave nice comments below).

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Ministry that is Sustainable for the Long Haul

September 30, 2011 / / 1 Comment /

The burnout rate among pastors and ministry leaders is alarmingly high, but easily preventable. The number of leaders who leave ministry because of discouragement is just as high. Recently, I was talking with a long time pastor friend and we were talking about sustainability in ministry and crossing the finish line as old pastors who still loved the church. We decided there were three crucial elements that must be present for this to happen.

1. Ministry must be for the kingdom

Our motive for everything we do must be for building God’s kingdom and not our personal church empires. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell the difference, but if we keep our hearts honest, we will know when we are promoting ourselves instead of Jesus. Empire building is marked by a competitive drive to build bigger stuff, work harder than everyone else and laying the expectation on your staff to do the same. Nobody can live long term under the stress of comparison and keeping up. Families crumble, marriages turn into mirages and pastors quit out of exhaustion.

2. Ministry must be innovative

Nothing robs me of joy like being stuck in some religious church rut, shackled to traditions that are no longer fruitful. The only things that are sacred in church are the sacraments, the scriptures and our relationships. Everything else should be constantly evaluated. Wisdom says too much change is just as damaging as no change, so I am not advocating chaos. However, I am a fan of honest discussions about processes, events that are no longer relevant, and methods that need honing so people can be helped better. The Holy Spirit is always at work in our lives changing us on the inside so we can better accept the changes He wants to make on the outside.

3. Ministry must be done with friends

I usually hire people I like and I do not apologize. Ministry is too difficult not to work with people that are fun and know how to laugh. They do not have to be Brady clones, and I can even tolerate people who root for teams other than the SEC.  But if they do not know how to laugh and have some fun ever so often, they usually are not a part of my inner circle. For sure, they must have character and competency for the assignment, but an equally essential element for the team is chemistry. Sometimes, I say no to a possible hire because they just don’t fit in with the culture. I do that for their sake and mine. Friends make ministry sustainable for the long haul and that’s what I want for them and me.

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Being a Better Follower

September 8, 2011 / / 2 Comments /

“Be responsive to your pastoral leaders. Listen to their counsel. They are alert to the condition of your lives and work under the strict supervision of God. Contribute to the joy of their leadership, not its drudgery. Why would you want to make things harder for them?” Hebrews 13:17 MSG

I wonder if I brought joy to the pastors I served when I was a staff member. I wonder if I am a joy to the Overseers and Elders who lead me now. I sure want to contribute to the joy of their leadership, not its drudgery. What can all of us do better to make sure we are more responsive to the leaders in our lives?

1. Pray for them always.

2. Find ways to shoulder the burden. What can I do to take stress off them? Is there something they are doing that I can do for them.

3. Show up on time. Their time is important and so is mine. Let’s honor each other’s time.

4. Only complain when we have some solutions to offer.

5. Give them grace when they do not recognize my good work. They will see my success in due time.

6. Give them sincere compliments when they do a good job. They probably feel overlooked sometimes, too.

7. Don’t listen to gossip about them. Spread good news about them. Brag on them and you won’t gossip about them.

8. Bring innovative ideas to the table. Share the burden for creativity and vision.

9. Finish the tasks assigned to you ahead of time. Never need a reminder about a deadline missed.

10. Ask for their counsel before you make a big decision. Your trust in their wisdom means a lot to them.

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Bad Medicine

August 30, 2011 / / 4 Comments /

Being a pastor is a great privilege that carries with the calling a great responsibility to care for people, study the scriptures and to maintain a lifestyle of constant prayer. With these responsibilities come stress, misunderstandings, and the pressure to be a lot of things to a lot of people. When this stress reaches a tipping point, pastors, like everyone else want relief.

Obviously, our only source for lasting peace and sustained strength is God and He is more than enough for a pastor or anyone else. Unfortunately, the world offers cheap and easy escapes, including one that is not on most pastor’s radars. The first four on the list are most often noted as counterfeit ways to dodge the realities that weigh us down.

1. Illegal drugs or legal drugs used foolishly

2. Excessive alcohol

3. Food eaten just to comfort us and not to nourish.

4. Illicit sex

But, there is a fifth form of medication, one that most pastors are addicted to without even knowing. It’s the addiction of adoring crowds. Big crowds, little crowds, and medium size crowds all have the power to medicate our egos and sooth our hidden pain. Why do you think it is so hard many times for a pastor to transition the church to his successor? They certainly want the next guy to take the baton while the light is burning brightly, but they cannot seem to leave the stage and the crowds. They cannot imagine a life without a microphone and pulpit.

We are not performers on a stage hoping for good reviews and our identity is not derived from the laughs prompted by well-timed jokes.  We are pastors tasked with a sacred assignment and our identity is and always should be as servant Christ followers who are using the gifts God gave us. We are just a part of the body, not the focus of the body.

I love the people that sit in front of me each weekend. They are my family and my friends. I enjoy teaching them the scriptures and I love what happens when the teaching connects with their listening hearts and seeing eyes. The miracles, answered prayers, and changed lives more than trump the difficulties of the pastoral vocation.

The moment we stop seeing people’s faces and remembering their stories, we will only see a mass of people who exist for our soulish benefit. I love a good laugh, a touching story that brings us to tears and I am fine with the family applauding when the pastor needs honest applause. I just want to make sure my heart gets life, healing and strength from something more eternal. I want to take the right medicine before I stand before the crowd so I do not settle for something that will only make matters worse.

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Church Stories Volume 1 – The Church Split that Would Not Split

August 24, 2011 / / 2 Comments /

My pastor friend Greg Surratt from Seacoast Church in South Carolina recently told me a troubling but hilarious story about his grandfather who was the pastor of a small church in a farming community in rural Oklahoma many years ago. Apparently, half the church got upset with him and decided to split off from the church. The problem is, they did not leave the church.

That’s right, it was the church split that would not split. Instead of leaving and starting their own church down the street, they decided to stay after realizing they had helped pay for half the building, and neither side wanted to give the other “their investment.”  The church was built with the traditional center aisle and a set of pews on either side and every Sunday the group that was mad at the pastor would sit on one side and the group that liked him would sit on the other.

When it came time for sharing testimonies, each side would try to shout louder and tell better stories than the other. If one side spoke in tongues, the other side would try to speak better and longer. Neither side would leave the church for the sake of some peace and quiet. Finally, Greg’s grandfather left and let them have the building.

This is a true story and reminds me of Paul’s letter to a similarly immature church in Corinth.

“In the first place, I hear that when you come together as a church, there are divisions among you, and to some extent I believe it. 19 No doubt there have to be differences among you to show which of you have God’s approval.”
I Corinthians 11:18-19 NIV

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The Sending Culture of a Healthy Church

August 4, 2011 / / 7 Comments /

I suspect most pastors would not want their kids to live in their house forever. At some point, the little munchkins need to move out of the basement and into a home or apartment of their own. So, if families are okay with sending their kids into the world to be productive adults, why are churches so reluctant to release their sons and daughters?

Every healthy church has a sending culture. In Acts 13, the leaders of the fellowship had been fasting and praying, when the Holy Spirit instructed them to send out Paul and Barnabas for a really important assignment. I imagine the leaders recognized these men were promising young leaders who could help them build a big church in Antioch if they would stay. But these leaders had something better in mind, something more eternal. I imagine Paul and Barnabas had already discussed their possible transition with the leaders and what we read in the scriptures was the beautiful result.

Leaders must allow their team to talk openly about transition, without the fear of being punished. We all say we are for the “kingdom” until one of our best leaders wants to leave for good reason, like a marriage. If the family is the mirror of the church, then we should celebrate when our sons and daughters are dutifully betrothed to another ministry assignment. Instead, most us treat Godly transitions like a divorce and make our teams feel shameful for even thinking of leaving.

The Antioch church was limited in their geographic knowledge, but they did rightfully discern that they were not the center of the spiritual universe. By releasing these two young men, millions heard the gospel, churches were planted, and the kingdom really did come to the earth. If they had refused to release them, I suspect most of us would have never heard of the church at Antioch.

I want the team I serve with to feel appreciated, protected and loved. I also want them to know that if God decides to use them in another city, church or country, I will stand alongside them like a dad. I will cry at the wedding, but I will also be glad they have moved out of my house and will soon be starting a family of their own. I can either be a grandfather or a divorce attorney – its my choice.

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The Shallow End of the Pool

June 19, 2011 / / 7 Comments /

After 15 years of serving as a pastor, I still get mildly aggravated when someone says they wish I would teach on deeper topics and not camp out so often on the stuff the mature already know. I do believe there are a handful of scholars sitting each week in a crowd our size and I can see their point. I have never been mistaken for Wright, Peterson or Nouwen, although I read their stuff. What most people are really saying is this: “Would you speak more often about the narrow list of topics in Scripture that I think are most important.”

I will pause here for a moment for you to repent. Selah.

When I stand before my fellowship, I see a big swimming pool, with a shallow end, a deep end and a kiddie pool off to the side. The shallow end is full of young, wide eyed, babies and toddlers. Some of them of them have those giant floaties that make their arms stick straight out. Their parents were wise enough to not take them down to the deep end and just throw them in the water. That would be at best foolish and at worse, lethal.

Most of these parents are expert swimmers who could easily navigate the deeper end, but they are actually content down in the shallow end, splashing about with the young they have produced, hoping the water will not frighten them away from an aquatic world of fun.

The kiddie pool off to the side is there for the very young who probably are years away from learning to swim. Most of them them are lugging around a diaper that’s as large as a Scion. They probably tried the shallow end, but all the amateurish splashing scared them away so they retreated to the safest of all places which was only few feet away.

Before you tell your pastor you want deeper teaching, consider a couple of questions.

1. When was the last time you brought a spiritual baby to church and saw them get the baby stuff for the first time? In fact, instead of asking your pastor for deeper teaching, go ask him who you could help teach. I promise he will have a long list of candidates for you to prayerfully consider helping.

2. Are you solely depending on a 30-40 talk once a week to go deeper? Because of the internet, we literally have millions of hours of study from the worlds best scholars. At New Life, we have small groups, an extension campus for Kings College and Seminary plus other classes taught by really smart people who tackle some of the deepest stuff imaginable.

Most pastors I know are fascinated by the deep topics and would love nothing more than to explore these with you each week. But the deep end is not for everyone, not yet. Because I am pastor of the expert swimmer and the toddler with the floaties and Scion diapers, I need to spend time in both ends of the pool every week. Splashing babies almost always become swimming adults, I promise.

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