Archive for October, 2010
For too many years for me to remember, I struggled with comparing myself with others, which produced a mess of insecurity. I always wanted something other than what the Lord had blessed me with. I was never really into designer clothes, accessories or diamonds because I knew that only the ‘elite’ could afford those and heaven forbid that I EVER lose one of those expensive items. I would never be able to forgive myself! What I wanted was the long, silky hair or the deep, golden skin or the perfectly manicured fingernails of my friends. What I longed for most was some of their outgoing personalities and how easy it was for them to talk, laugh, joke, and have fun like they didn’t have a care in the world. My fear was that I was going to say something stupid or just plain dumb and I would be humiliated by their laughter or their dumbfounded looks. As I grew older, my personality began to blossom (guess I was a late-bloomer). I give some of that credit to performing on my high school’s dance line for 4 yrs. You cannot be reserved when dancing in front of a gym full of people. Most of the credit goes to my comedic husband who had an unintentional way of drawing that funny side out of me. We tend to ‘feed off’ each other’s comments now and have our own little comedy act sometimes. I’m forever grateful for his sense of humor. I know some of you are too. *smile*
Through the years as I became more and more confident in how God created me, I realized that my early comparisons were simply trivial. In early 2001 I began reading The True Measure of a Woman by Lisa Bevere and it opened my eyes to how I was really supposed to measure myself. Our measure should be by our faith in God, our love for God and our fear of God. If we wake up every morning with that outlook, all other comparisons seem insignificant. As soon as I became comfortable with how God created me, my confidence soared not only in myself but in my God. My faith grew tremendously, my love for Him is like none other and my fear of God is healthy and respectful.
You want a confidence booster? You must be comfortable in whom God created in you first. You must get to that place. It may not happen tomorrow or next month or even next year. It was a long journey for me to travel to get to that place. Keep seeking, keep praying, keep focused on Him. Don’t look at how He created others, but look only at yourself. You will get to the place soon and once you do, there’s no going back. Afterall, you are a precious daughter/son of the Most High, highly valued in His Kingdom with power and purpose to fulfill ALL that He has called you to do!!